12 am: Feed baby
2:30 am: Feed baby. Groggily change diaper
5 am: Feed baby
7:30: Feed baby. Groggily change diaper. Decide sleep is fruitless endeavor and try to not wake other children on desperate path to coffee maker.
7:45 am: Other children awake, want breakfast (usually eggs or pancakes, which take more effort than I can muster on 5 interrupted hour of sleep) Give them fruit to temporarily appease.
8:00 am: Slam now cold coffee. Help older children get it together. Hold/nurse now sleepy baby. Change out of yoga clothes into new yoga clothes.
8:45 am: Finally awake enough to make breakfast for children. Start smoothie for me, partially in bathroom as to not awaken baby.
8:50 am: Hold upset baby. Finish making breakfast with one unused hand.
9:15 am: Clean breakfast mess. Load dishwasher. Finish making my smoothie and slam it.
9:30: Play with baby, change diaper, give snack to starving older children, clean kitchen counters, check email. Events in no particular order and are interrupted by older children fights and baby mishaps
11 am: Attempt laundry and toy pick-up– more semi-fruitless endeavors.
12 pm: Children asking for lunch. Begin lunch. Nurse tired baby. Clean kitchen counters. Events in no particular order
1 pm: Clean up from lunch. Change diaper. Play with baby. Find something for older children to do.
1:30 pm: Need more coffee. Settle on decaf to trick my brain.
2 pm: Children starving. Give them a snack and clean kitchen counters. Question why I have to clean the counters so often every day. Hold upset baby. Resume effort to clean. Drink cold coffee. Events in no particular order.
3 pm: Attempt workout. Nurse baby. Hold baby half way through and create my own, using baby as weight. Realize I haven’t had lunch. Shove food in mouth. Children want what I have so I get half. Clean counters. Take child to dance class.
4:30 pm: Realize dinner is approaching. Quickly grab random pantry items. Change diaper. Nurse baby. Get child from dance class.
5 pm: Begin making dinner. Hold fussy baby. Find things for kids to do. Begin to mentally calculate when I can strategically time my 3.5 ounce pour of wine.
6 pm: Finish dinner. Nurse baby. Clean after dinner, except my plate so I can finish nursing baby.
6:15 pm: Eat, quickly.
7 pm: Help all children with bath time. Remember to put clothes in dryer. Hold and play with baby.
8:30 pm: Read bedtime stories. Tuck children minimum of three times. Nurse baby.
10:00 pm: Sit and slam 3.5 ounces of wine. Sadly realize maternity leave is almost over. 😩😩😩